Thankful for sleep

Sleep is delicious...

Sleep is delicious. I use that word because it reminds me of savoring something that you want to last, like homemade chocolate cream pie. We all want comfortable and quality sleep that leaves us feeling refreshed and ready to hit the day running. I spent some time with an old friend this weekend, and her perfect (delicious) baby boy. He was in a very hip child sling- around his mama, the bohemian goddess. Passed out cold, gaping mouth and all. I thought to myself, I would like to know what it's like to be this little guy. Surrounded with a bustling crowd of people, dreaming delightful 8-month-old dreams. At this age, sleep is a simple destination in any position, any time. As we mature, sleep can become more and more elusive. 

Up six times a night for three years...

I remember as a teen, this was my ideal state. I loved to sleep, and it was often interrupted with early cheer-leading practice, school, or my part-time job as a barista on weekend mornings. As a young adult sinking into depression, it was my escape from a life without purpose or direction, heartache or boredom. Sleep was an alternate world in which bills were irrelevant and I didn't have to think about the unknown future that terrified me. When my daughter was born, sleep was a drug I sought, away from colic and the "up-six-times-a-night-for-three-years" hell I endured while juggling college. Sleep. How I love thee. Let me count the ways.

Re-lived adolescent adventures...

Sure, the act of sleeping is a delight (when your cat isn't using your nose as a batting cage), but dreaming is where it's at for me. I recently had a patient tell me that he dreams is black and white. I thought, huh. I didn't even know that was a thing! I'm always dreaming with bright colors, tastes, smells, soundtrack music, the whole shebang! I tell you, there is a reason I love sleep so much. Dreams are a gift for me. I have visited deceased loved-ones in dreams, re-lived adolescent adventures, or shared a first kiss (again) from an old lover. How special is that? In dreams, time and space do not exist. I can be any time, any age Audrey. I love nothing more than waking up with that familiar feeling, like a ghost from my lifeline has visited me. That feeling is hard to shake. For hours I will feel the cellular fingerprint of my dream and savor it. 

Today I am thankful for sleep. For the electric blanket that covers me with waves of security on chilly winter nights, and the pillows that cradle my flailed frame comfortably until morning. I'm thankful for the dreams that tease me with flirty flashbacks or the nonsensical sandwiching of my daily happenings. Sleep is delicious and worth savoring every time I hit snooze. What are you grateful for? Happy Gratitude Tuesday.

AM